I wouldn't normally write a review on a fast food store. But what can I say, on the weekend I ate at Subway and felt moved beyond measure to retell the story. Actually "moved" isn't really the right word..."shaken violently" is probably more appropriate.

On Sunday I had planned a leisurely afternoon of lunch, shopping and movies. It was an innocent plan and had I known that it was to be so savagely sabotaged I would not have dared be so presumptions as to make it in the first place.

For lunch, I decided to eat in the Centrepoint food court. I love walking past all the take-away food stores (seeing I rarely visit them) and waiting to see what will tempt me...it's also a good opportunity to see what the latest fashion in fast food is.

To be honest, I was surprised by the fact that it really wasn't that bad. Sure there was the ever-revolting McDonalds, joined of course by KFC and Burger King...but there's certainly alternatives for those that bother to look. So I wandered through the Mexican, Chinese, Thai, sushi, crepes, spuds, salads, seafood, sandwiches, pastries, Italian, country cooking, kebabs and pies...until I finally opted for Subway. OK so it wasn't the most daring choice but it had been years since I'd had it and my taste buds were craving it.

Bad choice.

My first preference had been to have a turkey and cranberry sauce sandwich (hmm...their website does refer to them as "sandwiches" but I'm still not convinced that they actually are sandwiches), only to discover they didn't carry cranberry sauce anymore (but of course they don't ask what sauce you want until after you've selected your meat and salads...so even if you do have this grand "sandwich" scheme in place, you don't find out it's ruined until the end of your "sandwich" assembly, thereby making all your previous selections irrelevant because you just can't eat turkey without cranberry sauce). So I settled instead for a 6-inch roast chicken "sandwich". I took a seat amongst the many other lunchers and began eating.

The texture was the first sign that not all was right at Centrepoint. I took a few more bites to see if I was imagining the wet (non-cucumber wet) slimy feeling but soon confirmed it was a reality. I then pulled apart my impostor sandwich only to discover that the "chicken" was pink and not at all cooked.

Very disappointed that my walk through the food court had amounted to such betrayal I took the alleged sandwich back to Subway and kindly asked for a refund. The attendant was kind and obliging but didn't really offer an apology and so although I walked away with my money back...I had lost my appetite for lunch and knew this was a sign for worse things to come. And worse they got.

I bought a ticket to see Sahara and was directed to cinema 8. On the way I (suddenly hungry) stopped to purchase a large popcorn and water. I waited patiently for the movie to begin (I don't like to start my popcorn until the movie has begun...otherwise what's the point?) and when it did, was shocked (and betrayed again) to see some other non-Sahara movie playing. Confused and angry I grabbed my uneaten large popcorn and left the cinema (by this stage the real Sahara had already started). The manager was kind enough to offer me a refund on the ticket as well as a complimentary ticket to compensate the money I had spent on popcorn...but even so, I had lost my appetite for a movie.

Lonely and upset I walked home (still with my untouched water and large popcorn). While waiting at the lights a man began yelling at me (very loudly) that I was "a dirty bad person"...and because he clearly thought that I (and the rest of Sydney) couldn't hear his accusations - he repeated himself, louder still, several times, until every passer-by had been given the opportunity to see who the "dirty bad person" was.

I'm not sure if it was the popcorn that offended him, or whether he just genuinely believed that I was a "dirty bad person" but at that point, I had lost my appetite for any form of thinking. I marched on home and ate my large popcorn.

I know it's unfair to blame my day entirely on Subway, but I guess life doesn't always serve you the perfect sandwich.