On Saturday one of my best friends got married.

On the surface, it appeared to be quite a simple wedding.

The ceremony was held at Cabarita Park (thankfully the weather stayed fine despite rumours of rain, storms and freak falls of snow) and consisted of a small close-knit bridal party, 40-odd guests and a cellist. After a few celebratory drinks the same party (minus the cellist) walked down the road to their beautiful house on the water where we were all greeted with continuous beverages and canapŽs. We then made our way upstairs where elegant yet informal tables and chairs had been set up, and we were left free to wander into the serving area and help ourselves to the delicious food. Following the dessert, touching speeches were made, tables were cleared and the dancing began and continued throughout the night.

This is what an outsider would have seen - in actual fact it was not a simple event at all.

Firstly, anyone that has ever worked in the hospitality industry will know that coming across as invisible takes a lot of work. Lawn Cottage Catering managed to do that as well as read minds. Not only was a fresh drink delivered as soon as I finished the one I had (and I'm sure they kept a whiteboard in one of the rooms with descriptions of the guests and what they were drinking..."extremely attractive brunette in yellow dress - white wine")...every other need was "catered" for as well. When I rejected one canapŽ a server brought me because it had dairy, they all began bringing out customised meals for me only ("witty, intelligent, slim brunette in yellow dress - does not want dairy in her food"). The main meal was not only delicious but wholesome and hearty - it was a perfect combination of country style cooking meets modern cuisine...everything was edible and well presented - I was openly impressed.

With service as perfect as theirs, I'm amazed they didn't want to make a show of it...but I suppose that was their secret. They were at all times discreet, watchful and attentive...they took notice of who you were, what you wanted and made sure they met to your every need. When they moved around they did so quietly and quickly, making you believe you dreamt the entire act of service.

But that was not the real effort behind the wedding.

Melinda met Fernando over 6 years ago. Nando had come from Uruguay to visit his brother and see Australia. When they met, neither could speak each other's language but that didn't stop them from falling in love. When the time came for Nando to have to leave (due to his visa expiring), Melinda made a brave choice and decided to give up her world and follow him. For over 2 years they travelled the world - not just out of a desire to see new places but for the mere fact that Nando was unable to return to Australia. Many were of the opinion that the easiest option would have been for them to marry and return to Australia as husband and wife - but neither of them wanted to take the easy route - they held their love sacred and didn't want to marry out of convenience. So once again a brave and difficult choice was made and they fought to return as a de-facto - putting so much on the line.

After a trialling and exhausting fight with lawyers, banks, immigration and their hearts - Nando's application was finally approved and they were able to return to Australia and make a home. A couple years later they faced one other and became husband and wife....not because it was easier, expected, convenient or long overdue...but because they wanted to.

You see, what an outsider at this wedding would not have seen, was the look on everyone's face as the groom kissed his bride. There was not one guest at this wedding that did not know what it took for them to be there.

After the ceremony and after the food - we all sat in the warm environment and listened to the speeches made by the bridal party.

When the mother of the bride stood up and read a letter from Nando's mother giving them her blessing...we all felt their combined wishes ....because only a mother would put so much effort into carefully reading a letter in a foreign language - and only a mother would get all the sentiment right, even if she may not have understood the words.

When the father of the bride spoke, we all felt his grief in having had to give away his daughter long before he left her at the aisle, yet we also felt his admiration for Nando and complete pride in Melinda's decision.

When Anna, Melinda's twin sister (and one of my other best friends) spoke, we were all reminded of what it means to have time pass, as she shared her pain in letting someone share her sister. Yet her pain was entwined with the happiness she felt in having that someone be Nando.

When the groom's brother and best man spoke...there was not a dry eye in the room as he let down his guard and gave eternal thanks to the newlyweds...because only Melinda and Nando would dismiss wedding gifts and request donations to their sick nephew's school. "It's funny how life turns out", he said, "You have a one in a million chance to give birth to a sick kid, and a one in a million chance of finding the right partner".

I sat through these speeches...feeling overwhelmingly happy for Melinda and Nando, yet also feeling for the other people in the room as they indirectly opened their hearts. There were many in the room I didn't know - I'm sure there were some who hadn't expected to be there, just as there were some who were meant to be there but weren't. Regardless of who they were though, I found that I always knew a bit about them...I guess when you become part of someone's life, you become a part of their relationships as well.

When the bridal party had finished their speeches, they welcomed anyone else who wanted to say a few words. I began thinking about what I would have said, but the moment passed and I missed it.

I guess I would have apologised to them. For a long time I used to really envy and resent their relationship. I didn't think it fair that they should find so much happiness when I had not - I naturally assumed that if I was dissatisfied with life then everyone should be too.

But after I apologised I would have thanked them. They proved that passionate love and devotion was possible...but that it would only happen if you were prepared to risk everything for it, and only you could make it happen. They made me believe that I should never settle for anything less...and thanks to that belief...well I no longer have to envy their happiness as I found my own through Demis.

Melinda and Nando - I wish you both the best, and thank you for a beautiful wedding.